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Wish, Want, Desire – 3 Ways to Help You Reach Your Goals

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to have it all while you struggle to get what you want from life?

Do you ask yourself ‘I wish I could have what they have!’ or ‘I deserve it more than they do!’ or ‘How are they so successful, I want it all!’

Sound familiar to you? It should do because we sometimes think up those types of statements.

But in reality how many times have you thought about them unless something actually happens or you meet a successful person?

A colleague gets a promotion – ‘I deserved it more than they did.’

A friend gets a new big TV – ‘I want one of those.’

You hear that someone has just come back from the most amazing holiday – ‘I wish I could go there.

The truth is you don’t want those things at all. You are reacting to something that has happened. They aren’t your goals, they were someone else’s goals.

Chances are, you probably don’t have any goals. And if you have they are ‘wishes’ and ‘wants’.

In other words, you don’t have any real goals!

‘wishes’ and ‘wants’ are simple responses to another person goals, because they sound awesome. ‘wishes’ and ‘wants’ are empty gestures you make to yourself and others for something you won’t actually do.

In essence, they mean nothing except to make you feel better.

For instance – ‘I wish I could go to America for a holiday’ (no you don’t).

For instance – ‘I want to learn to swim’ (no you don’t).

Those goals, as you’ve said them, will never happen because you don’t care about them enough. You might try to achieve them, but you will not reach those goals.

Hopefully at this point you have realised that I have left one of the title words out of the blog so far.

This is the first way to help you reach your goals.

arrow desire





There it is! The key to you reaching your goals is because you ‘desire’ the goal enough. When you ‘desire’ something the brain kicks into action as it takes more notice. Desire is a very strong feeling deep within us.

It’s what separates the action from the talking. The completing to the giving up. The success to the failure.

You put ‘desire’ into something and you have awesomeness. ‘Wish’ and ‘want’ are half-hearted, they are simply not enough!

I know, if you ‘want’ a biscuit you can get one and eat it. Yes, I achieved the biscuit goal many times. But really? Is that the height of a desire for you? I don’t think so!

The feeling you get when you achieve big goals that you set yourself is absolutely amazing, the desire during the journey is epic!

For instance, I started running last September 2017. Nothing serious, I just wanted to give it a go as I had never done it before and a friend had suggested it to me. There were no goals or desires, just a new experience. I actually enjoyed it, surprisingly so I started slowly and built up to 5k.

By the end of the 2017 I had run 4 10k’s, but not competitively. So I decided to set a goal, a desire, that I wanted to get a 10k done in 2018 in 42 minutes. I was doing 10k in around 55 minutes at the time.

Having been told by a few people I wouldn’t be able to get that sort of time a challenge was set in my mind. I had only started running etc etc. But my desire was 42 mins. I did my first official 10k in May 2018. I got in at 45:01. The desire was still there!

My next full 10k was September 2018. I got in at 41:07. I had a desire to reach the goal I had set myself and I’d given myself until the end of the 2018 to achieve it. The feeling of achievement was so amazing.

I did this based on one simple tweak in my brain.

Instead of saying ‘I want to run a 42 minutes 10k’ I asked myself how much does this mean to me. It meant so much because I had set myself a challenge and I believed, regardless of the doubters, that I could do this. I ‘desired’ this! It was now ‘I desire to run a 42 minute 10k’.

Don’t just say ‘I desire (fill in the gap)’. It has to be a desire within you, it has to be real!

Have a Limit

Another way to reach goals is to limit the amount of goals you have at any one time. Simple, right?

If you have lots of goals, even if they’re desires, and you’re trying to complete them all you won’t be able too, no matter how good you are! You need focus, it’s one of the fundamentals to reaching your desires.

If you have lots of goals then you just need to prioritise them. Ask yourself, ‘Do I desire this goal?’. Is it a burning desire within you.

You may find that you can actually remove some goals completely.

You need to work on as many goals as is comfortable for you, whilst enjoying the feeling of achievement you get as you move forward.

Some people thrive on having many goals. There’s not a problem with that, all I’m suggesting is you don’t compromise on the desires at the expense of trying to do too much either, for you or for anyone else.

Actually, if you find you have lots of goals and you’re adding goals there’s a really good chance that it’s not the desires you want, but the high you get from setting them. Seriously, you won’t achieve anything purposeful.

This is why you need to find the desires within so you have the right goals and so you’ll see them through!

And the Third Way (for this blog at least)

Break desires down into smaller goals. This is something we refer to as the ‘Path of Desire’.

Some desires are long in the length of time they will take to reach. That’s obviously not a problem, but a sure fire way to help you along is to set smaller or mini goals leading to the path of your desired result. This helps you focus!

‘But you just said don’t have loads of goals…’. I did say that, but these goals are on a path leading to one specific desire. You’ll be achieving a set of focused goals. So you won’t be doing lots of different goals for loads of different results.

For example: Although I don’t know the actual root to becoming a football manager (I’m certain taking your team to glory on a games console wouldn’t get you the managers role in real life) but by having an understanding of what the requirements are and your desire to be a top manager you can set and reach smaller goals that will give you the required tools to make it to being a real life football manager, and there’ll be lots of goals to achieve along the the way.

tightrope goals

Something to remember – you will have doubters and haters. Leave them to believe what they want to believe as you only need to believe in yourself.

So go grab those desires!

Thrive by desires, don’t survive by existing!

A large part of what we are doing at PenstarGrowth is based on a continuous check on ourselves and discovering our desires and setting goals for reaching those desires whilst ignoring or forgetting the cul-de-sacs of ‘wishes’ and ‘wants’.

Here’s a link to our courses – Online Courses
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Categories: Mindset

Phil Pedder-Smith

Like everyone Phil Pedder-Smith has had a Roller Coaster life, but has not allowed the lows to drag him down. He firmly believes when one chapter ends a bigger and better one is about to start. He stresses that everyone can be better than they believe they are! His desire is help you build a more positive lifestyle for yourself through simple actions and changes, creating a more positive you!

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