Slowdown and be selfish

Definition of selfish:

(A person, action or motive) lacking consideration for other people and only concerned with ones own personal profit or pleasure.

Being selfish

When we first think of selfishness we think of others putting their needs first at the expense of others. This kind of selfishness incorporates greed and lack of caring.  A bad kind of selfish.

There is a difference between being centred on yourself and being selfish. The word selfish is almost always used in a negative way (just caring about you) but we will need to re-brand the word to highlight how it can be healthier and productive to be selfish sometimes.

Being selfish is that you take care of yourself enough to be in top form for doing whatever you want to spend your energy on (taking care of the kids, your job or maintaining relationships). In fact even staying alive requires a certain amount of being selfish, you have to eat and sleep.

So really you should ditch the guilt and not feeling bad putting yourself first. No doubt most people will say being selfish is immoral and a good person should always think of others first. “Ask not what the country can do for you: ask what you can do for your country”. It’s even said that you want life long happiness then help someone else.

Take care of yourself

To be honest if you do not have self-care for yourself, you will not be able to help others. Self care is an important part of your life. When someone wants time to be alone or time for themselves, they are not being a bad selfish but are just taking care of themselves.
It is a necessity so they can then in turn look after other people and enjoy the time instead of feeling like they have to do it.

Maybe you always find yourself saying yes to things you do not want to do or to go out to places you do not want to go. You may do this because you do not like to say no and do not want the other person to get upset or hurt their feelings. Trying not to feel guilty. But if you are not taking care of yourself, how you possible can be strong enough to take care of others or do the things they want to do or even have the energy to enjoy yourself.

selfish time alone

Here are some examples as to why you need to be selfish

More energy: by taking care of yourself and replenishing your energy, you have more energy to give to your work, play and relationships

It upgrades your personality: anyone who runs them self ragged tending to everyone else’s demands can become bitchy and cranky. If you give yourself the attention you need and deserve you will automatically handle all the rest of the stuff around you easier and with more grace.

Improves your health and well being: if you are paying attention to the needs of your body, mind and spirit you cannot help but look and feel better.

Become more effective and productive: time for self-care creates room for clarity and renewal.

You get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want: people with a strong consistent practice of self-care are simply more attractive. Commitment to self-care acts like a magnet drawing positive outcomes towards you and repelling negative people and habits.


selfish time alone

Tips on Relaxing

There are lots of ways you can take time for yourself to unwind and replenish your energy.

  • Have a relaxing bath with aromatherapy candles.
  • Go for a long walk to the beach or even if it’s just around the block, getting some fresh air can help reduce stress.
  • Read a book or listen to some music.
  • Try meditation.
  • Take up a hobby.
  • Do some exercise like join a boot camp or start running?
  • Have a spa day and pamper yourself

You can find lots of things you can do to relax and look after yourself. Doing something for you can only make you healthier and a lot happier.

selfish sandy footprints

So go on everyone, be a little selfish now and then.

Selfish quotes:

Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish. It’s a necessary.”

It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and make your happiness a priority.”

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Categories: Mindset

Debbie Gromett

Debbie is training to be a qualified counsellor and she loves to volunteer for her local charities. She firmly believes that it's never too late to make positive changes in your life. She is a single mum of four daughters and in her spare time loves to run, read and has a fascination with how the mind works.

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