Why people live in the past

Living in the past allows you to avoid dealing with issues in the present. There is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it.

Thinking about it and all the lovely memories you have is absolutely fine and its always good looking back on the good times, all the experiences you had,.All the people you have met along the way, holidays, birthdays, Christmas even some of the bad times but we must remember that’s all in the past

People live in the past for many reason, it could be because it is familiar, comfortable and safe. It could be that the past was really happy and thinking about it makes you stop thinking about problems you have in the present.

A lot of the time when you live in the past is over something you can not forget or let go. A bad experience you had, losing someone, had a serious accident and you keep reliving it. And yes its hard to forget these events but they really do not serve us any use in the present and as much as its hard to we all must move on.

Living in the past is a big problem because it robs you of the opportunity to enjoy the present. To make new memories. If you can not be happy where you are living in the past is not going to help. Its like taking a tablet to take away the pain, this only mask what you are feeling.

Sometimes we wonder how we can live happy when we can not forget the past. Instead of focusing on the present we get caught up on past mistakes.


Stop being a victim

When you think of yourself as a victim you be come consumed with why it happened to me and that everything always goes wrong with me. This is not true-you do not control fate. Just because something happened or failed does not mean it will happen again. Remember YOU have control over your life and YOU are not a victim.

Sometimes you need to just forgive and forget, move forward.Maybe the other person was in the wrong but waiting for them to apologise can have a big impact on you today life.

The thing is you need to live in the moment. Whatever happened in the past, can not be undone or changed. No matter how much we think about it, cry about or wonder if we did it that way or that way.

You only ruin your present life when you are stuck in the past.


Here are a few ideas on how to stop focusing on the past

Learn from experience, try and take the positive out of it and this way you will be able to learn more about yourself.

Stop being a victim; we have already discussed this in an earlier chapter. Remember this is your life and you are in control of it.

Forgive those who wronged you, this is hard sometimes but why wastes your time on someone who doesn’t care. While you are at it forgive yourself, nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes. Once you can forgive, you can then move forward.

Simple, just make new memories, spend time with people that help you be happy.

If you can not forget the past and it really is hindering you everyday life, maybe you should seek help.Someone who can help you claim back your present and put the past where it belongs.

living in the past

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Categories: Mindset

Debbie Gromett

Debbie is training to be a qualified counsellor and she loves to volunteer for her local charities. She firmly believes that it's never too late to make positive changes in your life. She is a single mum of four daughters and in her spare time loves to run, read and has a fascination with how the mind works.

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